Standing in the Shadows, Home with Broken Hearts
by Occhio di Lince
Summary: Snapshots of Jess and Rory during the end of Season 3: some happy, some sad, all how they really were. Because we all know we miss how the show used to be.


**Summary:** Snapshots of Jess and Rory during the end of Season 3: some happy, some sad, all how they really were. Because we all know we miss how the show used to be.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gilmore Girls, which the quotes come from, or the characters. I also do not own the song "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty which the title of this story comes from (but you should all listen to it anyway). I also don't own the Beach Boys or their song "I Get Around," which Lorelai references in one of the quotes I used.

**Author's Note: **This chapter follows episode 3.15, "Face-Off," in which Jess doesn't call Rory and Rory sits home pathetically until she decides to go to the hockey game, after which she finds Jess waiting outside with concert tickets. All quotes come from that episode and were found at and review!

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STANDING IN THE SHADOWS, HOME WITH BROKEN HEARTS

CHAPTER 1: JESS

by Occhio di Lince

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**LORELAI**: Uh huh. One question. During this time that you watched TV, did homework, proofread articles for The Franklin, organized my sock drawer, returned emails and gave a much needed cleaning to your computer, did it ever occur to you to call him?

**RORY**: No.

**LORELAI**: Why?

**RORY**: Because he said he'd call me… Sure, when Dead said he'd call, he always called, but where's the fun in that?

**LORELAI**: Hey, Jess. You like music, right? The Beach Boys said it best. None of the guys go steady 'cause it wouldn't be right to leave their best girls home on a Saturday night. Rory is one of the best girls. She's the best girl, if you want my opinion, and you don't seem to have the first idea as to how she should be treated.

**RORY**: It's me. I just wanted to let you know that this is the last weekend I spend sitting around like an idiot hoping you'll call, okay? I'm not going to be that girl. From now on, I want a plan. I mean, a real plan with a time and a place, and I'm tired of hearing 'Let's hook up later.' What does that mean anyway? What's later? How do I set my watch to later? Later doesn't cut it anymore, got it? And, yeah, you know, maybe I am spoiled. But guess what? I like being spoiled. I plan to go on being spoiled. And if that doesn't sound like something that you can or want to do, then fine. I'm sure you'll find another girl who doesn't mind sitting around cleaning her keyboard on a Friday night hoping you'll call, but it's not going to be me. Oh, yeah, this is a message for Jess.

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It's not like he _meant_ to not call Rory. Just like he never meant to be rude to Lorelai, or to ruin dinner with her grandparents, or to make her mad by dating Shane (okay, maybe he meant that one just a little). It just happened with him; he couldn't prevent it. Jess' life was very simple, and often tended to run in one pattern: first, meet new people, and then second, make them mad at him. It was very hard to change that pattern, but Jess usually found that he didn't mind. The people that mattered, he had learned, were able to persist even after the first two steps had been executed.

Rory had done that. She had been mad (so mad) at him so many times, but that never stopped her. And hopefully, that wouldn't stop her now. Because honestly, Jess didn't mean it. He didn't. Really. He hoped she could see that. She must be able to see that, because if she couldn't, she would have stopped this a long time ago.

And why hadn't she stopped it? Why had she ever started it in the first place? Because it really was she who started everything between Rory and Jess, Jess would have been content to spend his time in Stars Hollow without talking to anyone, no matter who they were. It had all been Rory.

Jess had convinced himself that when Rory got to know him better, they would stop being friends (they were friends, after all). She wouldn't make a big deal out of it, wouldn't get in a fight with him, she would just stop talking to him. But she didn't. She kept talking, kept visiting, kept knowing him.

He had no idea how to handle that. Everyone else always left just when they started to get to know him. He didn't know how to deal with someone who didn't.

Maybe that was why he started to push her away. No, not maybe. That was why he started to push her away. He didn't know what to do about her anymore. He couldn't handle it. And he didn't want to admit that, so he figured it would be easiest if he could just get her to understand that he was not the kind of guy that she should want to be around. Maybe, if he was just a big enough jerk, she would finally stop. (Jess couldn't be the one to stop, remember, because he hadn't started it. He had just followed her.)

So he was rude, he was mean, and when he didn't act like that, he was just ignoring her. Oh, fine, okay, he wasn't always like that. Of course, there were exceptions. Like the concert. Like back in the beginning when he won her basket and they had the picnic on the bridge. Like on Thanksgiving. And like all those other times which were so easy (_so easy_) to overlook, but meant so much to her. Those times were the reason why she didn't stop. And, sure, Jess liked those times too, he'd admit it. But he didn't know what to do with them. What do you say to a girl the day after the two of you just watched movies on her couch with a bowl of popcorn between you? How do you keep going after something like that?

Jess didn't know. All he knew was that everyone who met him at some point would stop and leave. And he didn't know why she hadn't, although he'd done his best to make her. Because he really didn't know what else to do.

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**If it's a little confusing, that's because I meant it to be. Not confusing, exactly, just disconnected and unsure, because that's how I think Jess must have felt then.**

**More to come! Review?**


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